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Funny things your students say

Moderator: Tempo Gain

Funny things your students say

Postby catch-22 » 03 Oct 2009, 22:02

I just felt like this should be a topic. So everyone post funny stories of your English teaching experiences!

The other day I asked one of my students to use the word "joking" in a sentence during a game. He wrote "Are you joking? Zombies can't talk." Even though it wasn't a sentence, I gave his team bonus points for making me laugh. Then, of course, I had to explain zombies to the rest of the class. But I was still amused.
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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby MilkTeaJack » 04 Oct 2009, 07:39

"Please put your clothes back on."
twitter: jackge

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Do right by others, you'll do right for yourself.
Then on your final day of reckoning, there'll be no blame for living the life you lived.
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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby kjmillig » 04 Oct 2009, 07:49

To me when it was hot: "You can take your clothes off."
"Are you a good boy?"
"Can I kill you?"
"When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race [except in Taiwan]. ~paraphrased from H.G. Wells
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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby kardisa » 04 Oct 2009, 14:19

When discussing the concept of same and different with a class of 6 year olds: "Doo-doo and shit are the same!".
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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby nemesis » 04 Oct 2009, 14:50

I have a student in one of my senior classes whose English is quite good, if not perfect, but she is insecure. I told her that she learns from her mistakes and if she continues along the same path, she will one day be fluent. She countered by saying that her father and her teacher say her English is bad (she asks a lot of questions, and her teachers seem determined to shut her down for this...) I said that it's her father's job; he's a Taiwanese dad and might spontaneously combust if he didn't tell her that she was a terrible student. I then said that as for her teacher, he's probably insecure about his ability. I told her that her English is probably better than 97% of Taiwanese English teachers.

She looked insulted and taken aback, and responded, "Well, I should HOPE so!"
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi
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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby ice raven » 04 Oct 2009, 18:29

Do spelling tests count?

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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby kaiwen338 » 04 Oct 2009, 19:35

A colleague tried to tell me to stay posted for updates by saying "Keep on the post". (sounds uncomfortable)
It's all there, in black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir! -Gene Wilder
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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby nemesis » 04 Oct 2009, 19:40

ice raven wrote:Do spelling tests count?

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This reminds me of when I first started teaching kindergarten. We had one precocious kid who could write a little, but his art skills were not so advanced. He drew me a picture that I've since lost of a fat, phallic-looking thing framed by a square. Under it, he had very carefully written, "Penis on table."

If I ever find it, I'm going to scan and copyright it and have engrish T-shirts made.

Another kid, same class, clapped his hands insanely and said, "Teacher, I crap really loud!"
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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby Chris » 04 Oct 2009, 20:34

An adult female student once described a jade ornament she had hanging from a necklace. She said "It's penis. It represents fertility".

(Upon closer inspection, it turned out the jade object was shaped like a peanut.)
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Re: Funny things your students say

Postby Tomas » 04 Oct 2009, 22:45

From a TOEFL essay: "The second reason I think living in an urban environment is better than living in a rural area is that it is easier to get information from the Internet in an urban area." :eek:
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