It was about the penguins Mr. Smith. The British have always had a fondness for animals and to see the penguins' natural habitat desecrated by a bunch of Argies interupting the breeding season was totally unacceptable. Margaret Thatcher's policy of penguinism had to be backed up by force lest anyone think that we Brits are anti-penguin. No, we had to act. The only problem is that Thatcher herself and Thatcher's successors didn't follow through with the total penguinisation of the Greater Falklands Area (South America / Antarctica). Thatcher also failed to fully utilize the powerful Chilean Tierra del Fuego penguins who could have prevented the Belgrano from ever leaving port and causing a bit of a scare which ultimately led to many deaths and Labour MP Tam Dalyell's brief, but boring, moment of glory. I feel however that the whole issue of South Atlantic penguinisation is worthy of further study.

But Brune Ale:

Penguins don't tango and we all know that it takes two to effect that dance, something the birds are unable to manage, hence I would challenge you to defend your penguinization program of Antarctica and South America successfully. Given that globalization has now made the tango popular around the world, you may find that the forces supporting penguinization or even partial penguinization will be limited to the same sad reactionary forces that hoped to topple moves toward greater tangoization of the region, which is supported fully by not only the marginalized and oppressed wailing women and shrieking children of said region, but also the shrieking women and wailing children, who only seek to attain their justly deserved rights to exist in harmony with nature producing lovely Third World handicrafts and wearing suitably exotic clothing to guarantee that those concerned about the Third World from Berkeley (JB) and Columbia will find suitable backdrops for photographic evidence to be exhibited proudly on coffee tables and dorm walls as badges of their liberal concern for The Downtrodden.

The penguin supporters must now recognize the folly of imagining that they could go to an area where penguins had lived for thousands of years with their own cultures and beliefs and attempt to take these beliefs and transplant them to the Argentine. It is precisely this folly of unrealistic expectations that has led the British into the icy quandry that they now find themselves in the South Atlantic. After all, I really have to wonder whether such policies in support of penguins would have taken place had not rumors circulated to the effect that oil was being discovered in the seas around the Falkland (Malvinas) Islands. So it really is all about oil and your penguinization program is nothing more than naked aggression to sieze said oil for your own commercial interests. I bet you drive a SUV don't you. See. Aha!

The Tango, that most important fundamental of Tangoism is in direct opposition to the core values of penguinism. Tangoism is a latter-day import in an area where penguins have thrived for millenia. It is only just that the forces of penguinism, defended and then partially abandoned by Margaret Thatcher rightly assert themselves in The Greater Falklands Area (BTW, being pro-penguin, I, as well as the millions of penguins who live there, take deep offence at your use of the name 'Malvinas' which is tangoistic in the extreme). Penguins should be allowed to roam freely in or out of the sea anywhere in the South Atlantic (including anywhere in South America up to the mouth of the Amazon) without let or hindrance. Penguinism seeks only to eradicate discrimination against penguins, acts of aggression against penguins and to establish a fair and just penguin diaspora in the South Atlantic free from the oppression of the Tangoists, their handicrafts and false territorial claims. Passports could be issued to all penguins and their rights protected under the soon-to-be-drafted International Penguin Protocol (IPP)*. The British, who have proven themselves (April 1982 - June 1982) to be penguin-friendly will ensure that natural penguin feeding grounds will be protected by the establishment of an "No Fishing" zone stretching from The South Pole to Belem round Cape Horn and up to the Galapagos. Anyone wishing to fish in this area will have to seek permission from The Penguin Fisheries Administration based in Port Stanley. Seals are exempt from seeking permission.

Your assertion that wailing women and their children have a right to to exist in harmony by producing lovely Third World handicrafts to the detriment of penguins is blatant anti-penguinism which cannot be tolerated. Penguinism is not about transplanting penguinistic beliefs to the Argentine, it is about restoring what rightfully belongs to penguins. The British may have found themselves in a bit of a quandary but ultimately it is about doing what is right for penguins. If ridding The Falklands of a brutal tangoist dictator is what needed to be done then Britain acted correctly. The issue was never about weapons of mass fishing or oil, it was about making the sea a safer place for penguins and freeing the penguins' spiritual home (Goose Green) from foreign occupation and preventing further acts of penguicide as perpetrated by the Argentinian tangoist fishists.

*The International Penguin Protocol Penguin Books (sometime in 2005)

Brune Ale:

I find your dismissive of tango racist in the extreme. Yet, again, we have an example of a holier-than-Thou pro-penguinist who assumes that anything not developed in the penguin civilization is somehow inferior. I beg to differ.

May I point out that the tango and its assorted musical instruments were developed over millenia and have a rich historical and historic tradition that predates the Penguin colonization and oppression of the Falkland Islands.

Given that in the tango bible, various steps are outlined and given the structure and form of these steps, we can draw a conclusion that the tango was clearly advanced and PREDATED the penguin occupation of Argentina's coastal lands including the Malvinas Islands. See Tango for Beginners Chapter V, paragraph II, line 33 in which it states, the man propels the woman backward in a FLAMINGO like movement (here no reference at all to penguins) or to the following chapter and verse where it says in Chapter XXI, paragraph 10 line 4 that "the rhythm should be asymmetric and unpredictable." From this we can conclude that clearly penguins were not being referred to given their highly predictable mechanical waddling.

Please review your facts and come to the appropriate conclusions. The wailing women and shrieking children have every much a right to the coastal waters in question as your arrogant fat-cat penguins with their hideous overconsumption of fish and dismissive arrogance of other species.

This is precisely the kind of extreme comment pro-Tangoist / anti-penguin activists like to mouth off. Penguins waddled before the tangoists threw themselves around with wild abandon in those slummy Buenos Aires dockland bars. The penguin-waddle (unequalled in elegance anywhere) even predates those very same docks.

How can you use the term 'fat-cat penguins' and keep a clear conscience!?
You know as well as I do that penguinism advocates the retention of the purity of the species. To imply that cross species breeding takes place is clearly false. You check your facts! It may be that the tangoists wish to attempt to undermine the purity of penguins by creating a Frankenstein of the sea, the Felipen (for want of a better name for this horrific hybrid). Who knows?

No Mr. Smith. Penguins were around a long time before Cortez and his mates.

How dare you describe the penguins' spiritual home as Argentine 'coastal waters'! You are an anti-penguin fishist!!!

Broom Addled:

Isn't that just like a penguinist to make sweeping generalizations and create facts at whim to fit his position. Take a deep breath and pull your head out.

The Penguins have been a reactionary force that while seemingly cute and helpless are rapacious and voracious consumers of the world's resources. They are the SUVs of the South Atlantic and it's time to pull the plug on their selfish and mindless middle class overconsumption.

The Wailing Women and Shrieking Children are clearly the True Victims here and all because of macho penguin tendencies to subvert everything to their own paradigm of penguine uber alles politics. Even the f***ing smirking of the penguins is enough to set me off. Women are WAILING and children are SHRIEKING and all you care about is more, more and MORE for your f****ing racist, fascist penguins. I think that they are nothing but lice infested birds, get it BIRDS, not even a separate species worth noting.

Second, it is about time that you realize that penguins have also been pushed out of breeding grounds in Norwegian held islands in the South Atlantic and even FRENCH held ones but I do not hear you mentioning a word about that. It is only when the wailing women and shrieking children and their just cause is raised that you seem to set parameters to cover up what is essentially a land and sea grab by the ignorant, reactionary, running dogs of the capitalist forces bent on worldwide domination of the earth's resources. Hello?! The fish are dying?! Their stocks are being depleted?! and do you even give so much as a fig? OR should I say cod?

Unless you are willing to face the grave injustices of the situation with a bit more caring and understanding then I do not want to discuss this issue with you anymore. I have seen the SUFFERING and wailing and crying and shrieking and handwrenching and moaning and groaning and teeth gnashing of the women and children, HAVE YOU???? HAVE YOU????? So until you have seen their suffering or heard their wailing in person then I not think that you have any right to continue to post such racist, backward, fascists statements that clearly reveal that you don't have a f***ing clue about this issue.

Despite your admonitions for me to stop, I have to say that your entire reply, beginning mildly ended up as a rant. Who here is reactionary? What facts have been made up on a whim, exactly? You claim to champion the cause of the down-trodden barrio-dwelling women basket weavers, yet you mention not at all those opposing the encroaching urban Argentine beggars, namely that bastion of of penguinism "Las Penguinistas". They are homegrown in Argentina, closely allied to the Chilean penguins: The Penguinistas de los Magellan Straitos. Do the tango down there and you will find yourself completely outnumbered. Oh yes.

Mr. Smith, please be more level-headed here. Penguinism is much more than a motley collection of birds seeking a monoploy on fishing rights in the South Atlantic, it is a movement, a state of mind and a noble ideal.

As for the French and their penguins, well history has shown that the French have for a long time mistreated their colonial subjects and have never given penguins the protection they deserve. As for the Norwegians; what can one really expect from a bunch of moonshine distilling whalists?

No. Penguinism will be a force to be reckoned with.

Yet you mention not at all those opposing the encroaching urban Argentine beggars, namely that bastion of of penguinism "Las Penguinistas". They are homegrown in Argentina, closely allied to the Chilean penguins: The Penguinistas de los Magellan Straitos. Do the tango down there and you will find yourself completely outnumbered. Oh yes.

Au contraire Mr Ale:

First of all the Las Penguinistas were formed in Antarctica and the original chapter was ONLY FORMED in 1996 so you tell me how that could be a nativist movement in Argentina. Meanwhile, the Penguinistas de Los Magellan Straitos was formed in Paraguay. Hello? Paraguay? Where's the coastline? Now, do you see what is going on? You are nothing but a patsy for these groups. Where is thy conscience? Where is thy brain?

Mr. Smith, please be more level-headed here. Penguinism is much more than a motley collection of birds seeking a monoploy on fishing rights in the South Atlantic, it is a movement, a state of mind and a noble ideal.

Yes, a noble idea that only respects one view and one interpretation of the legality of fishing in the South Atlantic. INTERNATIONAL LAW clearly dictates that the seas be kept free of foul substances. Did you get that FOUL substances... so off with your F***ing pigeons, penguins, pelicans, whatever the hell those lice infested feather brains want to call themselves.

As for the French and their penguins, well history has shown that the French have for a long time mistreated their colonial subjects and have never given penguins the protection they deserve. As for the Norwegians; what can one really expect from a bunch of moonshine distilling anti-whalists?

I think it very interesting that you are so dismissive of the French chapter Les Penguins et Oiseaux des Oceans Atlantique Sud, which as we all know early on adopted Marxist-Leninist communatarian policies toward the seas and its treasures. Not so convenient bringing up the fact that the penguins are NOT in uniform agreement on this subject. Clearly, it is not so BLACK and WHITE after all, Right? Right?

No. Penguinism will be a force to be reckoned with.

Penguinism is in its last gasps. Within five years, the population of sea otters will overwhelm the penguin population in their core home territories in Antarctica and by then will simply to choose to outvote and veto any such attempts. Don't make me laugh.

You are attempting to dilute penguinism by bringing in otterism. This is the kind of distraction tangoists, whalists and otterists use when faced with the crushing reason of pure penguinism.

Yes, I have been dismissive of POOAS (the French ones) because they broke away from pure penguinism in 1916...and they squawk in French.

Paraguay!? No Mr. Smith you are thinking of the Grande Puffino de Foz de Iguacu. They are just a bunch of smugglers in cahoots with the Argentine tangoistas desperate to prop up their ailing economy.

Penguinism is here to stay!

Tigerman: As moderator, could you please put this exchange in an separate thread so that penguinism may be discussed more rationally and so that more people can contribute? I know you don't have to but it would be interesting to assess the feelings of the people in this forum with regard to penguinism. I fear that the essence of the debate may be hijacked by that out of control tango-apologist, otterist Mr. Fred Smith.

On behalf of the world's penguins, I thank you.