How to learn Chinese / Taiwanese obscenities?

[smell the glove]

Big thanks to ironlady and seeker4 - exactly what I was looking for! Sorry for wasting a new topic on an old one...

[dumas]

here is a pretty good list:
http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/Mandarin.htm

[dumas]

"do you like to take it doggy style?"
"你喜歡做犬交式嗎?"
ni3 xi3 huan zuo4 quan3 jiao1 shi4 ma?
literally: you like to do dog delivery style?

[chodofu]

Gan ni liang gui gei hui ah = F**k you and your entire generation....

Ms. Chou tought me this after we cursed some drivers with the English version on the way to Taroko. 混蛋 (hun dan = bastard) almost drove us off the road and over a cliff. She said the first part in Mandarin and I emblished it with the generation bit in english...

LOL, got to love that foul mouth jien wife of mine.

Chou

[lupillus]

oh by the way, thanks for putting in the Chinese and the tones. but ji ba is the exception. Taiwanese pronounce it ji "bai" not "ba". I think it's taiwan/Mandarin!

Hmm...that's interesting! Some students of mine about 10 years ago told me the joke:

What do you call the road from Taipei to Xindian? [Taixin Rd.]
What do you call the road from Jilong to Bali? ....[wait for it...they always get it after a second]
so at least back then it would have been pronounced "ba", but nothing to say it wouldn't have changed since then.

Ji1bai1 膣毴(雞掰)= vagina. annoying
Ji1ba1 雞巴 = penis(usually only used in lame pornographic stories)
Jiba is a Mandarin word, while jibai is a Taiwanese word.

Ni hen ji bai eh. = you're such a cunt.

The derivations of jibai are:
Ji1wai1 機歪= annoying
Ji1che1 機車= annoying

Jiwai and jiche are less severe than jibai. In fact, most people don't find them very offensive.

lan3 pa1 懶趴= balls (the famous LP)
lan3 jiao4懶叫= penis

LP actually refers to balls, instead of penis. It can roughly be translated into "egg pod".

I don't know the romanisation system for Taiwanese, so the below you can prounce the way you would English. And the second set is the Mandarin pronounciation.

gay1sen1 jia3xian1 fake holy person假仙= pretentious/fake (pretending to be a saint)
dee2go1 zhu1ge1 pig older brother豬哥= perverted, lecherous (like a sloobering pig.)
goo2 mo1 gui1mao2 turtle hair龜毛= picky, obsessive complusive (like someone trying to find fur on a turtle.)
sue2 la4 su2la4俗辣= wimp, coward(the more correct Mandarin characters would be 卒仔tsu4tzai which is "pawn" but you'd still pronounce it su la because its a Taiwanese word.)

Insulting Nouns: The first part is not as insulting as the second part.

呆子 dai1zi2 = dummy (this is a milder insult)
笨蛋 ben4dan4 stupid egg = idiot
醜八怪 cho3ba1guai4 = very ugly person
豬八戒 zhu1ba1jie4 = ugly/fat/disgusting pervert(from the character in 西遊記)
白痴 bai2chi white stupid = idiot
智障 zhi4zhang4 intelligence obstructed = retard
東西 dong1xi east west = thing

混蛋 hun2dan4 mixed egg = bastard
混賬 hun2zhang4 = bastard
混球 hun2qiu2 = bastard
人渣ren2zha1 human scrap= scum
敗類 bai4lei4 corrupt kind = crook
廢物 fei4wu4 useless object = trash
婊子 biao3zi = bitch/prostitute
王八蛋 wang2ba1dan4 turtle egg= bastard
王八 wang2ba1 king eight(turtle)= man
烏龜 wu1gui turtle = cuckold
龜孫子 gui1sun1zi3 turtle grandson = bastard
騷貨 sao1huo4 horny thing= woman who flaunts her sexuality(slut)
變態 bian4tai4 = pervert
雜種 za2zhong3 mixed origin = bastard
狗雜種 go3za2zhong3 dog mixed origin = bastard(with canine ancestry)
妓女 ji4nu3 = prostitute
潑婦 pofu4 = woman who knows no restraint. I.E. Someone who just yells at things and ignores all reason.
畜生 chu4sheng1 = animal
賤人 jian4ren2 賤貨 jian4huo4 = prostitute, bitch. (this is the absolute worst thing you can call a woman, in my opinion. I would not ever call someone this unless you really really hate her.)

Insulting Adjectives:

不要臉 bu2yao4lian3 no want face = shameless(throwing face away)
下賤 xia4jian4 = lowly and worthless
混賬 hun2zhang4 = useless
淫蕩 yin2dang4 = slutty, promiscuous
卑鄙 bei1bi4 = shameless and deceitful
無恥 wu2chi3 = shameless
可惡 ke3wu4 = despicable
狗娘養的 go3niang2yang3de dog mother raised = raised by a canine mother(son of a bitch)
醜陋 chou3lou4 = ugly
沒品 mei2ping3 = with no class
下流 xia4liu2 = low class
齷齪 wo1chuo4 = dirty
骯髒 ang1zang = dirty
沒用 mei2yong4 no use = useless

Application: Mix and match!

你ni3這zhe4個ge2_______的de2_______
you this (adjective)-like (noun)

Example A:
你這個淫蕩的賤貨 = You slutty bitch!
Useful for when you catch her in bed with someone else.

Example B:
你這個沒用的智障 = You useless retard!
Useful when you're already told someone how to do something ten million times, and he still fucks up.

Just adjective: 你ni3真zhen是shi4(adjective) = You're really (adjective)

Plural: 你們ni3men2(you)/他們tamen2(them)這zhe4些xie(adjective)的(noun)



Be creative!

[ironlady]

I sense a popular piece of software that generates random combinations of this stuff...

[bismarck]

Oh, a female dog. I should have figured that out. There isn't any other term for a bitch?

So, is 母狗 兒子 a common insult in Chinese, too?

My girlfriend says nobody says that....

She says they would more commonly say... 婊子.or you would say this if your girlfriend had sex with someone else... 狗男女

That's what she tells me...

[ironlady]

FYI this topic has been merged with "Cussing Like a Native" originally from "Living in Taiwan", to provide the gentle users of Forumosa with a comprehensive and easily locatable treasury of words to get themselves beaten to a pulp by taxi drivers because of.

[smell the glove]

For your edification, a few choice Taiwanese phrases. I haven't the foggiest how best to render them phonetically, but here goes anyway.

"cong sa xiao" - cong sa/sha is the harmless Taiwanese "gan ma" (what are you doing), but when you add "xiao" in a derisively loud voice with an approximation of a drawn out Mandarin third tone, it comes off as pretty vulgar. I believe "xiao" is semen.

"juh dulan ei" - the "juh" is said with a stop that sounds vaguely like a "t". Said while angry and not particularly concerned with decorum. "lan" is of "lanjiao" and "LP" fame - and I believe "du" means to hit or strike.

So there ya go. "What the jizz are you doing?" and "This is dick/ball slapping!"

[Slin]

I showed my mom the cuss words that were written in hanzi and she refused to translate them, saying that people in our family don't use such words. :\

My dad likes to say gou pi a lot though....